Elephants On Things, an occasional series part III

another truck!



this one's just reccying the carnival route he's to take in the kandy esala perahera, which apart from the elephants and the mutilation is a load of old crap, there is hardly any nudity or alcohol at all. call that a carnival? i don't.

Care Of Field Assistants: An Owner's Guide

step 1: find your assistants:



ooo! these 2 will do.

step 2: make sure your assistants are well fed:



and have enough to drink:



step 3: make sure they have plenty of work to keep them busy:



step 4: be firm with your assistants. make sure you punish them appropriately; it will teach them the meaning of right and wrong, and they will know you are displeased with them:



step 5: love your field assistants:



and they will give you a few days some weeks of terrible slacking faithful service and company.

PS DONT MENTION THE PREYING MANTIS FFS OMG NOW IKLL HAVE TO GET INTO THE FISH TAKN AND SING

omg wtf

pic from a newspaper.



like wtf? it appears to show a big face in the sky blowing down the eiffel tower, and some camp monk with a fan. obvious doctored jpgs + weirdness + camp monks with speech bubbles = maybe JFB has been working for the Sunday Leader ???

o m8s i have moved

i have! moved house entirely, with all my stuff!

from this (skanky old house):



to this (PHEERSOME LUXURY):



it is SUCH a playboy mansion! in the background of the second picture is a water feature, it's a bit hard to see but you turn it on and a waterfall runs down the wall into a fish pond, it is el REET and bound to impress the ladies

trouble is we have a servant too and i hate servants. people consistently making you tea and tidying up after you is only ok if it's your mum, or you're ill. anyone else doing it is just WEIRD. i had to secretly throw away the tea she made me this morning and creep into the kitchen to make proper coffee ARGH and then she took my only set of keys so i had to climb into the house through a window ARGH and then she wanted to sweep my room so i had to lock the door ARGH it's like having an intruder in your house but worse you're PAYING for it

so i told her to sod off until september when my flat mate's around; i am quite happy to pay her to stay away.

hhhrrrr