serious post about caterpillars

there are caterpillars in the forest, some of them are ace, see this:



this is the caterpillar when it's little, it's kind of camouflaged as a small slug, which is handy because it avoids getting its face et if it does that.

THEN, it gets older and it changes, and starts to look more like a bit of birdshit:



which is handy because it also avoids getting its face et, just in a different way.

BUT then! it gets even bigger and looking like a bird jobby goes out of fashion, so it changes into a snake! look at its eyes!



it even moves like a snake when you anger it! angering caterpillars, don't knock it till you tried it.

COMPUTERS ARE RUBBISH

i am using something called R to do what i sometimes laughingly refer to as my 'work'. it seems to have been designed by some sort of monty python/kafka hybrid to cause irritation first, and do adding up second.

things like this, for example, make me want to bite someone:

> knn1(DItrain,DItest,DIclass)
Error in knn1(DItrain, DItest, DIclass) : DItrain and DIclass have different lengths

> length(DIclass)
[1] 404

> length(DItrain)
[1] 404

why do computers think it's funny to behave like this? if your employee started coming up with responses like this, you'd sack them, or have them shot, depending on local traditions. you certainly wouldn't think "hmmm, deep. maybe there's something i'm still not understanding, i'll ask the question in a slightly different way."

computers ruling the world, my absolute bottom

Interlude, with added explosive rage

i clean forgot this, months ago when this sort of thing was all the rage:



SPOTTED, in downtown cardiff, DIXY chicken, and i think so too.

no apologies to everyone who doesn't know what i'm on about (i.e. everyone except gotes, he's the only one reading this now anyway)

I am someone from Africa

also TRUE



the one in the middle, he is the ponce of morocco. as you can see it hasn't happened yet, there may even be more pics of me in makeup yet to come. keep washing the skis, makeup fans.

I am a cat magician

TOLD you!

see?

it was a well complicated trick too, see i had to kill the cat and break the pot, then mend the pot with tape and buy a new identical cat, and all to make it look as if i'd just hidden it up my sleeve or something. not easy being a magic man, you ask that david bane.

Interlude, with added YO!

yo my homy's.

this negro my main brother, he rappin' like this:



an what he say ain't nobody gonna mess, cos he a soul brother.

isit.

the reverse instructs me to HIT IT REAL, so that's what i intend to go and do.

y'all.

I am a giant's bottom

TRUE

see?

i was the bottom half of goliath in the colombo international school's production of David and Goliath the other week.

the pheersome giant:



OH NO! GIANT HIT BY DAVID, AND IN PROCESS OF COLLAPSE! note horror on faces of philistines, stage left



dead giant, ppl happy. murderers.

dead

i had to lie there for the rest of the play with my head in an 8 year old boy's groin. MAN it was sweaty.