i PASSED MY MOTORBIKE TEST

i PASSED my ACTUAL motorbike test!

what you do is, you go to a muddy bit of waste ground next to a bus stop with 50 other people all there for the test, and then you take turns to ride a terrible knackered old 50cc scooter VERY SLOWLY round in a figure of 8. and that's it!

actually it's really hard cos the ground is ankle deep in mud and the figure 8 is very small, and the bike is very knackered, and people keep walking across the waste ground because it's next to a BUS STOP FFS, AND you have to do it without putting a foot on the ground. one foot touches ground, FAIL!

so i was bricking it. i think all the other 50 people there were bricking it for me too, or at least were waiting to see the whitey fail miserably and/or go arse over tit in the mud.

but i did it! HA HA HA I DID IT! AHH HA HA HA!

then there was a bit when you had to follow a white van down the street, not too close, braking and indicating etc at the right moments. i did it absolutely perfectly. it did strike me that the van was behaving a bit strangely but nevertheless i was flawless in my following, i even looked like youre supposed to. i even adjusted the MIRRORS! then the van stopped and this bloke came out and said (i paraphrase): 'OMG WTF why are you following me fool, i am teh OTHER examiner'. bugger! didn't matter in the end though, probably because of my SKIN COLOUR (pink and brown, some skanky bits)

and the best thing? my examiner wasnt an examiner; he was an examinAR! i shouted SPIDAR DAWT CAWM in his face but he didn't laugh.



examinAR!